For some indescribably wonderful reason I have been in the most intensely good mood for the last few days. I am now at the point where I consider this mood and think that it must have a limit somewhere. But it just goes on...
Logically thinking, why on earth would I be happy? It's been raining for 5 weeks! But on further reflection I have come to the conclusion that my happiness was borne out of a complex array of feelings that stem from my general ease in my job role after months of 'settling in' and a better idea of what I want to do with my life, meaning a greater sense of belonging in this crazy world. So there.
On even further reflection I wouldn't actually describe it as happiness. I feel it is more an intense release of enthusiasm. Ideas are bubbling over in my head, I am constantly switched on, constantly wanting to know what's happening next and CONSTANTLY feeling frustrated when that energy can't be channeled effectively enough. It's scaring me slightly! But I am humbled at the same time to have unlocked such a panoply of excitement. I don't know how but I suddenly feel that things are possible, that I can go for what I want to do -essentially the world is my oyster.
In London I am surrounded by young, good-looking and sometimes enthusiastic professionals. They do work hard and play hard and the economic climate doesn't seem to have dampened their spirit one jot. I would be lying if I said I didn't want to be one of these people, if only for the perceived glamour. But I also want to be one those people who's exhausted by their work and feels good because it is worth it.
Maybe I am wildly naive, or plain idealistic but still, I am not going to tread on my good-humour- it's spurring me on. I am quietly anxious that this good feeling won't last but I am determined to use it effectively while it's here. Being positive is a big motivator in life, I have no time for pessimism.
I am not really sure what caused this feeling, as I have probably already said. But hey, go with the flow...
This blog entry would perhaps be better if relegated to the privacy of a journal, but I think it is important to share good emotions sometimes. The bad news that pervades so much in this world all too often sets the tone, and what with the wet winter and the dark days, I think it all the more important to remember that there is light at the end of the tunnel.
I went to a friend's house last night, and after a few glasses of wine we got the music on and got dancing in the most cringe-worthy and disjointed fashion, oh but I did have fun! and I do believe it got rid of my cold. There was no reason for the dancing except to just let go and enjoy ourselves.
So, dear reader I hope you are not reading this and feeling disgusted at my impossibly nascent good-humour. I hope instead you are reading this and feeling a bit better about the world, perhaps? because honestly I can think of no good reason why I should feel so good, except that I just do.
