Wherever I go there seems to be change in the air. The election of Obama has been heralded as an opportunity for change and the economic crisis which is diligently sweeping the globe means change, no matter how painful, is inevitable. People are viewing these changes as an opportunity to shake off the immoral excesses of the past, to be more frugal and to prioritise what is really important. Perhaps that will be the good thing to come out of the recession; people will be less consumer obsessed and maybe more peaceful in heart and soul. We'll see...
Change is also in the air for me as I start to think about CVs, applications and ultimately JOBS. Ahhhhh. I don't want to leave university. It's such a comfort to me (you really do live in a better world, I think, at university). The formative years of my life I feel are numbered and now I must resign myself to growing up and having to shave every day. BOO HOO.
On a lighter note, it would be nice to have my own money. But then there's the debt to pay.
I have decided that denial about my terrifying amount of debt is the best policy. I often run away from banks, arms flailing, screaming for salvation. I dance around my room like a crazed lunatic to loud music all just to drown out the grinding noise of my financial ball and chain that I will no doubt be wearing until I draw my pension.
No. No no no. Stop being pessimistic. It will all be fine. If not I can be one of those Hari Krishnas that chant up and down Oxford Street, they seem incredibly enlightened.
I've never been good with change you see. I don't think many people actually like it but it is nevertheless a part of life. It's just daunting to be in a situation where you feel like such a novice in everything you do. After 4 years at university I can claim to be a professional student. I know how to make mismatched clothes work, how to drink before lunchtime and how to talk endlessly and with authority about really, a load of crap. But now it's different - the grown up world beckons and my only solace is that I have some office experience (as long as we forget that I broke the new £400 shredder). Oh, and I make a stellar brew.
My sister gave me some sound advice about broadcast journalism this week that can be applied to anything. She told me to really believe in myself and to let it come across in who I am. I know you may think it a bit cliched and flaky to say 'Believe in thyself' but how many of us actually do? If ever my confidence in something is tested I notice a marked difference in my performance at any task. I am less motivated when this happens and as a consequence do worse. Therefore I think it is very important to believe in yourself, even in the smallest things you do.
I went for a walk in Stanmer Park today, a rolling country park by campus with woods and sheep. As I walked the ghosts of my university past were following me. It was a little personal time to remember just how great these years have been. At university you discover who you are, you wear dodgy clothes, you drink awful concoctions. At university you wake up more than once in a hedge (or perhaps in a field freezing cold with a stranger's coat and a very curious cow circling you as happened to one friend). At university you get up at 11.00 on a Monday and have meals the wrong way round. You have the freedom here to express who you are and meet people from all different backgrounds. It may not be for everyone but it was certainly for me, and I'll cherish the memories always.
I'll leave it there for now cause I've got some dodgy clothes to dig out and a party to attend! I wonder where I'll wake up next...
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